That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
