giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
