This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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