What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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