Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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