3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
