Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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