Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize