I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
