My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
