don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
