WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
