Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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