Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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