Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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