I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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