you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize