Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize