i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
