Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
