she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
