Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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