SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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