You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
