Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
