Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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