went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
