Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
