the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
where am i from again
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
