I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
