I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
