addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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