you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
