this boner is exhausting
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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