So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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