My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
