i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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