Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
