i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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