Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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