Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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