On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize