i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
