woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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