why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
