I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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