She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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