every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
