Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
