In America we eat man semen.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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