and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
