i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
