Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
two words...techno handjob
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
