Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
