I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
