woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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