I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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