just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she peed on how many people?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
