What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
