Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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