Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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